Patron Saints

Today’s Patron Saint?
(Aug. 30)
Fiacre

A hermit whose cult flourished in France. Patron saint of horticulturists and those who suffer from veneral disease.

Today’s feelings?

Anxious craziness
Which patron saint will help me out?
Dympna

A woman who lived in solitude with where lover after fleeing from the sexual advances of her father (she looked too much like her dead mother). Dad burned both daughter and lover at the stake. The town where this all went down eventually became famous for treating the mentally ill and the towns folk adopted her as their saint.

Today’s agenda?

Writing
Which patron saint will guide me?
Francis de Sales

Bishop of Geneva who wrote texts for lay-folk explaining the church ‘s practices.
Famous saying: “ flies are attracted by a spoonful of honey than by a whole barrel of vinegar.”

**I’m an atheist with a knack for picking up books with visually stimulating covers from the “to be re-shelved” cart at the library.

Questions for a Happy Marriage

What can we do to have a happy, loving atmosphere in our home?
Make your home somewhere you both want to be.

What can you say and do to meet your spouses needs.
Try asking what those needs are. You may be surprised.

What positive things can I say and do to put my (husband or wife) in a positive emotional state?
Give the wine is not the correct answer - just the easiest!

How can I address an issue to get the outcome that we both want and need?
Before speaking, clarify the outcome you want. Silence is ok.

Say something appreciative a few times a day.


What benefit have you gained from your marriage?
Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Keep adding to the list and reread it frequently.

What do you love about your spouse?
Write a list of your spouses positive patterns and qualities.
Keep adding to the list and read it frequently.

What can you do to bring out the best qualities of your spouse?
Try to reinforce those qualities with words and action.

What went wrong in the past?
STOP!
What is past is the past. You create the present and future with your thoughts, words, and actions.



Thankfully re-worded an revamped from:
© Rabbi Zelig Pliskin [based on "Marriage" by Rabbi Z.Pliskin]
http://www.simpletoremember.com/growth/20-key-ideas-for-happy-marriage.htm

Gorillasushi's Plea

This is my husband... gorillasushi...
This is his poem... His plea...

I want to push my body again.
I want to do it right this time.
I want to find my old friends and kick with them without the disappointment of an intangible injury.
I want to show up at a competition and have people say
"who is that guy?"
I want to live my dreams again.

I thank you so much for any help you can give.

This is a video of what he's "dreaming" of again...






Can you help? Please check out his site.

What's a Nimrod?

Jason, that’s my hubby, called me a nimrod today. Nimrod? Since I didn’t know that exact definition, I was left with a flood of pictures of what a nimrod actually is flying through my head. Stuff like:

Nope, that doesn’t help.
Nor does…


Get it… Sim’s Rod… like fishing… ok, that’s a stretch.
And then all those years of bible school came kicking back in!

Nimrod was the great-grandson of Noah. In addition to being the creator of the Tower Of Babel, he is also a noted hunter - which is what got him the money and status to take control of land and then build that famous tower to the gods that back fired and gave us different languages.

So I hit the internet. Hard. A whole afternoon of researching.

My conclusion was this…
Bugs Bunny frequently called Elmer Fudd a “poor little nimrod.” And since Nimrod created the Tower of Babel and Elmer Fudd stuttered and stammered over his own words, and stupidly can never catch Bugs…

Nimrod took on the negative connotation of a foolish person.


Then I remembered that rule that someone came up with that I am not researching the name of as I’ve already spent all afternoon on this…


From dictionary.com (where else?)
nimrod
noun(Old Testament) a famous hunter
AND
Informal A person regarded as silly, foolish, or stupid.


You know the rule, the one that says the simplest answer is usually the right answer?


Get this.

Bugs “you poor nimrod” EQUALS
Bugs “you poor hunter”
Yeah..

Elmer Fudd is just too Sexy
Watch below you NIMROD!




So, over the years of kids frying their young minds on cartoons, they picked up the term nimrod as an insult to throw at their friends.

Now the real question, “why is my husband calling me a nimrod?” Already forgot!

Movie Trailer Re-edits

Ditto – the social entertainment guide presents:


The best movie trailer re-edits

http://www.ditto.net/Lists/The-best-movie-trailer-re-edits


I stumbled upon this sight while procrastinating at the library. After watching each and every trailer on this site, I realized that over an hour had gone by and that I had a great post. Hope you find the site as entertaining as me, just don’t get caught at work watching some of them… You’ve been warned. My top three favorite are below.


10 Things I Hate About Commandments



One of my favorite movies – The Ten Commandments, I watch this movie at least twice a year, every Xmas and every Easter. Now, I am never going to be watch it without feeling a little bit dirty.






Little Miss Sunshine Re-cut Trailer



The original trailer was super depressing… this, well, this re-cut is version definitely puts a whole new spin on the movie. You’ll just have to watch it to understand.





Brokeback to the Future


Back to the Future III wasn’t the best of movies. Going back to the old west? Seemed like a stretch at the time… milking the franchise for all it was worth. But now, you can see how the romance plays out between Doc and Marty.

Library Hobos? In Naperville?

In an attempt to stay sane and focused, I’ve been spending more time at the library since I lost my job. If I stay home, I tend to get a bit depressed and way antsy. By making myself get up and dressed and out the door, I feel like I have at least the semblance of a routine

Library culture is very interesting. We have a nice selection of regulars.

There are the college kids who didn’t go home for the summer, who spend their days prepping for the MCATs or other equally impressive tests.

We have the day traders. They’re easy to spot by the constant wrinkle in their forehead.

The mommies usually make an appearance right before lunch time. I think there must be some story time on the lower level right about then, the kids’ yelling having loud fun.

And then there is the one five- or six-year old girl who just wails away no matter what her dad does to calm her down. She’s my alarm clock, telling me when it’s time to reload on the coffee.

There are the retired folk who are the saddest things ever! Sitting by themselves in the quiet reading section, doing cross-words and I imagine pooping themselves.

But the most bad-ass regulars… the hobos!

Back round:

Naperville, Illinois is ritzy. By that I mean, big houses, bigger egos, and a huge tax revenue; enough for the city to support 3 libraries. My library is the #1 in the nation, based on population. It’s a college town with pricey restaurants and not a single homeless shelter or food stamp assistance office (I checked).

So how do we have hobos hangin’ out at the library each and everyday? I’ve narrowed in on three people in particular I am sure fit the hobo criteria.

Hobo: a lout, clumsy fellow, country bumpkin. OR a disreputable vagrant; "a homeless tramp"

*that’s dictionary.com’s definition.

Others may consider a hobo to be called:
Italian or Spanish: vagabondo
Danish or French or Swedish: vagabond
Czech or Slovak: tramp

I like to think of a hobo more on a visual basis, see video – it’s sad and a little offensive, you’ve been warned. The video’s not best quality, but it shows you exactly what TYPE of hobo I’m referring to.



I love my hobos. They make for good entertainment when I need some distraction from writing and actually accomplishing anything.

For example,

One of my hobos uses the payphone for his own… makes for great viewing when someone else attempts to place a call… hobo storming out and standing uncomfortably close behind the caller… trying to give the naive person a hint to get lost.

The payphone hobo and the sad old man hobo get into it, almost everyday arguing over answers to crossword puzzles.



Or when the lady hobo got kicked out for yelling at a kid who accidentally bumped into one of her numerous plastic bags she brings everywhere with her.

I haven’t really figured out why these three are always here, but I think it has to do with them being crazy, and without family to care for them.

Sad really. But also quite amusing. One more fun hobo video for your pleasure.

Detective Disher = Yummy!

I’ve loved Monk since its first season. Back when he was a little bit more disordered and Sharona was still in the picture as his nurse.
(creepy stalker fan video below)



It’s not fair to say that I love Monk really. Love the show – yes, love the character…. Not bad, but so not my favorite.





The best character on the show, Detective Disher. Hands down. He’s even got his own online advice video blog!




How can you not love him! He’s adorable, innocent, handsome in a nerdish sort of way, and plain nice. Desperately in love with Natalie… will he ever get his chance? Some crazed fans think so – just watch….

Monday Movie Mash-up

Definitely, Maybe

Ok. So I’m sure if you are anything like almost every other person in the word, you are sick and tired of the girl from Little Miss Sunshine. She’s quickly losing her cuteness, and her acting leaves lots to the imagination. And as a general rule, Ryan Reynolds is block office poison.

Why again did I add this to Netflix? I swear it was Jason, he swears it was my choice. Whatever the reason, I had low expectations going in, and looked at simply as a quick, romantic comedy, Definitely, Maybe, definitely didn’t suck.

Here’s the best scene in the movie – now you don’t have to watch it at all! You’re welcome!

The People Under the Stairs

The same lack of sucking can’t be said for this little … well piece of crap. Not even bad enough to just be considered campy. Just plain lousy. But…. It did star one of my favorite grungy-era teenagers! Can you guess

Thelma & Louise

I know. I’m twenty-six years old. How is it that this was my first time watching this? I hadn’t even seen clips of it before, and as uber-geeky as it sounds, I hadn’t even seen the sexy Brad Pitt parts – not even as stills!

It is definitely dated. But the plot is still great. As a woman, I was a little insulted by how the two main characters were portrayed, they do come off like idiots.

Just watch Brad Pitt and enjoy….

FALL TV PREMIERS

what to watch???

so the laptop broke at the library today. i just got all the letter keys to work, but stuck in caps. kind of a pain....

but, i took the time to research some tv premiers. all for your consideration and all link to more info on each show.

MONDAY, SEPT. 1

"Raising the Bar" (TNT), 10 p.m.*
ZAK FROM SAVED BY THE BELL MEETS THE MOM FROM MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE???

TUESDAY, SEPT. 2

"90210" (CW), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere*
(WILL WATCH WHILE HIDING IN MY CLOSET, EATING ICE CREAMING AND CRYING ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS)

THURSDAY, SEPT. 4

"The Moment of Truth" (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere
SPILL MY DARKEST SECRETS FOR CASH. NO PROBLEM, I’LL EVEN ADMIT TO THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. HOW FAR HAVE MORALS GOTTEN ANYONE RECENTLY ANYWAYS?

SATURDAY, SEPT. 6

"COPS" (FOX), 8 p.m.
HOW CAN THIS SHOW “PREMIERE” ISN’T IT ALWAYS ON SOME CHANNEL AT ALL MOMENTS IN TIME???

TUESDAY, SEPT. 9

"Fringe" (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere*

CAN’T ADD ANYTHING YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY HEARD ABOUT THIS JJ ABRAMS NEW SHOW


WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 10

"'Til Death" (FOX), 9 p.m.

YES IT’S FORMULAIC, YES IT’S KIND OF LIKE EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND WITHOUT RAYMOND. YES IT HAS BECOME ONE OF MY FAVORITE SITCOMS THANKS TO HULU.COM

"Do Not Disturb" (FOX), 9:30 p.m.*
LOOKS LIKE A RIP OFF OF THE OFFICE. PROBABLY WON’T MAKE IT LONG TERM.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 12

"America's Toughest Jobs" (NBC), 8 p.m.*
THEY CAN ONLY DREAM OF MIKE ROWE – THIS SHOW WILL BOMB!

SATURDAY, SEPT. 13

"MADtv" (FOX), 11 p.m.

SICK OF IT – SO SO SO READY FOR IT TO BE FUNNY AGAIN

"Talkshow with Spike Feresten" (FOX), midnight
I’VE HEARD NOTHING BUT AWESOME THINGS ABOUT THIS TALK SHOW, BUT IT’S ON REALLY LATE – BUT NOW, MY UNEMPLOYED ASS CAN STAY AWAKE PAST 9 PM!


THURSDAY, SEPT. 18

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (FX), 10 p.m.
LOVE IT OR HATE IT – RAUNCHY AND RUDE…. I’VE LAUGHED TILL I PEED A FEW TIMES, AND I’VE ALSO TURNED IT OFF MID-WAY THRU AN EPISODE BECAUSE I FELT DIRTY AND HAD TO SHOWER.


MONDAY, SEPT. 22

"How I Met Your Mother" (CBS), 8:30 p.m.

SUPER EXCITING - FAVORITE SITCOM, GLAD IT DIDN'T GET CANCELED!

ALSO – CHECK OUT Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"Heroes" (NBC), 9 p.m., two-hour premiere

THIS SEASON – THE VILLAINS TAKE OVER, JUST IN CASE YOU’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK.

"Worst Week" (CBS), 9:30 p.m.*
a funny sitcom…. we’ll have to see!

TUESDAY, SEPT. 23

"NCIS" (CBS), 8 p.m.

SHOWS BEEN GOING DOWN HILL THE LAST FEW SEASONS, BUT I’VE INVESTED A LOT OF TIME ALREADY, SO I’VE GOT TO SEE IT THROUGH TO THE END.

"The Mentalist" (CBS), 9 p.m.*

GOOD IDEA – SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR ONCE. CASTING LOOKS A LITTLE – WELL, ANNOYING, BUT I’LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 24

"The New Adventures of Old Christine" (CBS), 8 p.m.

FIRST SEINFELD WANNA-BE THAT’S KIND OF HOLDING IT’S OWN. THINK ELAINE ON CRACK AND ALL STUPID!

"Lipstick Jungle" (NBC) 10 p.m.

MONEY – POWER – SEX – AND HOT WOMEN!


THURSDAY, SEPT. 25

"My Name Is Earl" (NBC), 8 p.m., one-hour premiere

LAST SESSION SUCKED, I’LL GIVE IT ONE OR TWO EPISODES TO REDEEM ITSELF.

"The Office" (NBC), 9 p.m., one-hour premiere

PAM AND JIM? THE WAIT IS ALMOST OVER!!

"ER" (NBC), 10 p.m.)

SHOULD HAVE BEEN CANCELED YEARS AGO – DR. GREEN DIED, AND THEN THE NEXT SEASON WRAPPED UP SOME LOSS ENDINGS…. THREE YEARS LATER – UNCLE JESSIE IS A DOCTOR??


SUNDAY, SEPT. 28

"The Simpsons" (FOX), 8 p.m.

SICK OF IT

"Family Guy" (FOX), 9 p.m.

!WHO DOESN’T WATCH!

"American Dad" (FOX), 9:30 p.m.

FAMILY GUYS COUSINS

"Californication" (Showtime), 10 p.m.

TWO WORDS - David Duchovny- TOO BAD I DON’T HAVE SHOWTIME!


MONDAY, SEPT. 29

"Chuck" (NBC), 8 p.m.

FOUND THE RERUNS ON HULU AND NOW IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE DRAMATIC COMEDIES

"My Own Worst Enemy" (NBC), 10 p.m.*

TWO WORDS - Christian Slater – NEVER GONNA WORK.


WEDNESDAY, OCT. 1

"Pushing Daisies" (ABC), 8 p.m.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY – BEST WRITTEN SHOW EVER!

FRIDAY, OCT. 3
"Wife Swap" (ABC), 8 p.m.

"Supernanny" (ABC), 9 p.m.

(ME HIDING IN CLOSET FOR TWO HOURS WATCHING OTHERS SO I CAN REJOICE IN THE FACT THAT MY LIFE DOESN’T SUCK SO BAD I HAVE TO GO ON A REALITY TV PROGRAM TO FIX IT)

"The Ex List" (CBS), 9 p.m.*

CUTE IDEA – WILL PROBABLY GET CANCELED

"Sanctuary" (Sci-Fi), 10 p.m.*
DESCRIBED AS X-FILES MEETS SIN CITY… WHY HAVEN’T I EVER HEARD OF THIS ONE?


THURSDAY, OCT. 9

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" (CBS), 9 p.m.

WITH THE WHOLE ORIGINAL CAST PRETTY MUCH GONE, I THINK THEY SHOULD JUST END THIS ONE GRACEFULLY INSTEAD OF TRYING TO SUCK THE MONEY TEAT ONE MORE YEAR.

"Kath & Kim" (NBC), 9:30 p.m.*

I’M SORRY – BUY MOLLY SHANNON CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING AGAIN ON TV. TYPECASTED.

"Life on Mars" (ABC), 10 p.m.*

AMERICANIZED VERSION OF A BRITISH HIT.


THURSDAY, OCT. 30

"30 Rock" (NBC), 8:30

I ONLY STARTED WATCHING THIS ONE LAST SEASON, AND HAVE SINCE WATCHED EVER EPISODE, AT LEAST TWICE, ON HULU.COM… LAUGH OUT LOUD

divine caroline + wontonsushi = JUMP FOR JOY

A while back I was a little obsessed with StumbleUpon. Spent a lot of time at work Stumbling all over the web. Out of all that wasted time, I found one amazing gem.


The most well-written, informative, woman’s interest driven website/blog environment around. I read it religiously. Each week, I can’t wait to get my reminder emailed to me that the newest edition has arrived.

One of this weeks Homepage articles
“Adoption: Ten Things Any Waiting Father Should Know”
Written by none other than yours truly!


In short:

Number #1: Understand that when your wife hears, “You know what they say, once you sign up with an adoption agency, you’ll get pregnant,” it’s just a reassurance to her that by having to adopt and being unable to conceive, she’s less of a woman

Number #2: Learn as much as you can about the adoption process and what to expect along the way.

Number #3: Don’t pretend that the holidays are easy

Number #4: Tell anyone and everyone that you are in the process of adopting.

For the full story check out
http://www.divinecaroline.com/
And scroll down to the parenting section.

Or go straight to the article
http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22095/53649-adoption--ten-things-waiting-father



I hope to be a contributor to this site many more times to come. Please, feedback! Suggestions for improvement! Ideas for future articles.

I highly suggest subscribing to the feed and setting up your own account. It’s a great community for women.

12 Stupid Writers Block Suggestions

So, sometimes I’m at the library, with the best intentions in the world to get some great writing down. Some great additions to my novel, maybe a great post idea. Then, I take out the laptop, get some music on in the background…. And nothing! ZAP! It’s as if my mind goes blank.

Today, instead of just staring at the blank screen, I meander around the shelves, picking up books here or there to get an inspiration. And that’s when I found it, a book of lists. Interesting facts. Some mediocre suggestions. But what I found most amusing is the list of twelve things to do to help with writers block.

1. Right away, Write it down!

What about life? What happens when I realize my best idea while swimming? Do I spring from the pool and scramble around for paper? What about driving? I’m a bad enough driver as it is. Throw in scribbling down a note to myself, and I am sure to cause a head-on collision.

2. Listen to music

For me, music just fills my mind, leaving me all “duh…..” and empty headed. It’s good in the back round to zone out noises around me, but that’s it.

3. Exercise

Again see #1. Plus, if I exercise, I’m pretty much dead for the day. Couch, remote control and some nice snacks please!4. Brainstorm with friend (or any 6 year old!)

I love the inculsion of asking a six year old to help you think of some great writing material. What six year old do you know that can carry on a conversation for more than a couple of minutes? I’ll probably end up with a good idea, but forget whatever it is before the game of Candyland is finished.

5. Do it poorly

That’s a great suggestion! If you can’t put some effort into and just half-ass it! I thought the saying goes, “anything worth doing is worth doing well?”

6. People Watch

Ok. This one I like.

7. Keep a journal

A journal filled with nothing, as the point is to stop my writers block. If I’m already blocked, how am I going to write anything in said journal?

8. Pray or read the bible

Notice how it’s not suggested to read any other type of religious book? Just the bible. It is the source of the most creative blogs out there. For an example just check out http://reflections-achristianblog.blogspot.com, I think you’ll get my drift.

9. Free write

Maybe for some. It’s helped a few times before, but overall, I think it’s just a time waster.

10. Change your location

There are only so many places I can take the laptop. Besides, I think the big draw of changing locations is simply changing the people around you. People watching is better!


11. Do some chores around the house

No!

12. Sleep on it

Now there’s a suggestion I can live with! If I sleep on it enough, I’m sure something will come to me. And if not, at least I’ll be well rested.

Dark Chocolate Cherry Cookies

Dark Chocolate Cherry Cookies

2 ½ cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 cup butter, soft

¾ cup sugar

¾ cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 cup dark chocolate, cut up
½ pound cherries, pitted and chopped (fresh)



Preheat over to 375 degrees.

Mix together flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda. Set aside.

Cream butter. Add in sugar and brown sugar. Cream until slightly fluffy. Add vanilla and eggs. Beat for about one minute at high speed. Add flour mixture. Blend in chocolates and cherries, gently!

Drop by rounded tablespoon onto cookie sheet and bake for 13-15 minutes, careful not to burn bottoms.

Makes about 5 dozen cookies

Lightening Storms and Candle Light

It’s rare that the power goes out in our neck of the woods. We may get the electricity flicker here and there, but a full-on power outage? Never in this house. Until last nights amazing show of lightening and booming thunder! Right in the middle of a movie, didn’t even know that it was raining outside, the lights flick on and off, then a huge BOOM! Jason and I rush to the window and lo-and-behold, rain is coming down in sheets outside! Tree branches are breaking, patio furniture is being flung all over the neighborhood and the sky is filled with the most amazing display of lightening I have ever scene!



Growing up in the mid-west, the Chicagoland area to be specific, I’m no stranger to a good storm. Heck, my dad was even an unofficial storm chaser when I was a young one. But this, this was awesome!



















But, now that I’m completely dependent on television or radio to play in the background of my life at all times, what do I do without either? No internet, no cable, no batteries in the house to even run a CD player with. We had to resort to candles to even light up a room.



My first lesson of the evening was learned early. I love watching a thunderstorm. To waste a little time, hoping that the electricity would miraculously pop back on, Jason and I decide to turn to our little vice and go out for a smoke. I’m dressed in pj’s which means a skanky white beater and some short shorts that don’t fit quite right. Out the door and Crap! It’s windy out here, and the storm turns our direction and we rush to open up the door and, locked! Jason runs to the garage door, but, no power means no garage door opener -duh!

Now what? How about a walk of shame over to the neighbors for the extra key…. Me in a white wife beater… not a good moment. At least I had on a flimsy bra.








Back in the house, we decide on gathering up all the candles and hunkering down for a whole night with just the two of us for entertainment. It was a little romantic, playing crazy 8’s, candles flicking all around us. That was until I played the two of hearts and Jason decided to serenade me with that great 80’s pop tune with the same name…

“Two of hearts… Two hearts that beat as one…. I need you, I need You!!”




That’s the only line either of us knew. After that song got old - which was pretty much immediatly, we picked up some Debbie Gibson and some Tiffany and then things just got a little bit weird.


With no background noise to keep us preoccupied, we took turns playing cards and doing an old fashioned sing along. We had harmonies going, some duets, I’d play the drums on the coffee table… Second lesson learned that night, as dorky as it sounds, I had an awesome time with my husband, just screwing around and being nerdy together! It had been too long since we were forced to be all on our own.


The last lesson we learned didn’t really affect me, but it kept Jason up most of the night. We got in the habit years and years ago to sleep with the static on. No power meant no white noise. I slept like a baby, but Jason was up until the electricity came back on, and he could turn the stereo on an empty station. Will he learn from this, no, but I still wanted to mention it. This morning, the yard was a mess with branches everywhere and our neighbors patio and kid stuff thrown all around. Hubbies at home picking up now, while I’m out enjoying my time at the library.


And that’s why I love the man so much! That, and his ability to remember Tiffany’s greatest hit, “I Think We’re Alone Now.”